Sunday, 7 October 2012

Nostalgia: Garbage Pail Kids

Series 3 of Garbage Pail Kids (1986) Had a mermaid character a) "Smelly Sally" or b) Fishy Phyllis

The same character was re-issued with a different design in the new series.
Thought I'd share.

Saturday, 6 October 2012

Short Story - Wet Dreams

Here's a little short story I wrote inspired by my favourite death scene in a horror film possibly ever - A Nightmare on Elm Street IV: The Dream Master - "Swish, killed a fish" where Freddy breaks out of a waterbed. In this case I've given it a mermaid twist. Enjoy!

Wet Dreams


It’s one of those nights; you know the sort, muggy, hot and so damn oppressive that you’re almost praying for the storm to break just so you can get some release from the sticky torment. Even with the window wide open and the covers off, I can’t get to sleep.


I curse knowing that I’ll have dark circles under my eyes in the morning. Rox will never forgive me if I look less than perfect tomorrow. She is determined that now that he’s single again, Jason must want a new girlfriend and that girl should be me.


Jason. The sandy haired, hazel-eyed god of River High, Captain of the football team, lead singer of the school rock-band, king of the social scene and after his spectacular break up with Libby yesterday, currently single...


Nobody could quite believe it. I mean he and Libby had been going steady for months, they were practically engaged! The school’s golden couple, it was a given that they were going to be prom king and queen at the end of the year. 


Then suddenly, in the middle of the cafeteria, Libby drops the bombshell that she won’t be going with him to Dave’s eighteenth on Saturday because she needs to revise for Monday’s media exam. This is only the biggest party of the year – Dave is the first of us to turn eighteen. Talk about kiss of death!


“Poor Jason, it’s not like she even left him for someone else!” Rox said to me during our free period. “As if anyone needs to revise for media studies!”

“And that gives him the right to call her a frigid lesbian whore?” I asked raising my eyebrow.

“Well, that might have been a tad extreme,” Rox admitted, “But come on, Jay had a right to be angry. She blew him off in front of EVERYONE! That’s so humiliating!”


“And she’ll be the one going off to uni in September whilst he’ll be forced to retake the year…” I smiled at the thought of perfect Jason needing to resit.

“Just who’s side are you on?” Rox demanded. “You sound like you almost agree with what Libby did!”

“She can’t be both frigid and a whore that’s a tautology,” I mused ignoring Roxy’s indignation.

“Kath, you are such a geek!”

“And that’s why you love me!” I said teasingly. Rox and I have been best friends for years. In most respects we’re polar opposites and yet that only seems to make us like each other more, her extroverted personality perfectly balances my own reserve. Or had, until now.


“You’d better not talk like that in front of Jason,” she warned. “It would be insensitive. After Libby he’s not going to want… well you know…”

“Any show of intelligence. Yeah I get that. But Rox, why would I care what Jason wants?” I asked her.

She looked at me as if I’d just grown another head.

“Well you are going to be his new girlfriend…”

“I am?” I looked at her in astonishment.

“I know I asked you not to show off that brain of yours, but you don’t have to play that dumb!” Rox exclaimed. “You’re next in line, of course you’re going to be Jason’s first choice!”


“Next in line…?” I looked at her blankly.

“Oh come on! After me you’re Libby’s closest friend. Of course it’s going to be you. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m with Dave I’d make a play for him myself. Jay is such a total stud muffin! It’s a crime for anyone that hot to be single!” I couldn’t help it, I laughed at that and my amusement instantly dissolved the tension between us.


Jason is gorgeous, there’s no denying that, so why aren’t I as ecstatic at the thought of being his girl as Rox obviously is? Switching on the light I grab our yearbook and flip through until I find the picture of him and Libby taken not long after they got together. He looks blissfully happy, arms draped around her in a possessive manner, yet she looks… I don’t know, trapped. Why had I never noticed that before?


My head begins to throb with that kind of ache when your body’s telling you you desperately need to sleep and your mind rebels wanting to uncover those niggling little things that are just tantalisingly out of reach. It’s no use arguing. I drop the book onto the bedside table, switch off the light, this time for good and settle down to sleep.


I toss and turn for a while finally settling on my stomach. Rox thinks it’s weird that I like to sleep on my front, but as I told her it’s more comfortable as I’ve got more padding that way. The waterbed ripples, moulding itself to my curves, its gentle swish lulling me into a trance. Finally I think, finally!


Suddenly I’m jerked out of my doze by a thump to my belly. What the fuck? There it goes again. It’s like the reverse of what I imagine it would be like to be pregnant, kicks and punches coming from the outside... I hold myself perfectly still and the bed begins to ripple around me. Breathing hard I tear at the sheet. And then I see her. Libby? My brain freezes. How is this possible?


But there she is, her naked body mirroring mine, separated only by a thin wall of translucent plastic. She opens her mouth as if to tell me something but only bubbles escape. Frustrated she punches the plastic then unfurls her fingers pressing her palms against the barrier. Instinctively I do the same, staring into her wide sea-green eyes, trying to decipher the hidden message there.


She glances at our palms, almost touching and smiles at me. Like her reflection I find myself smiling back. Her wheat-ripe hair swirls around her like seaweed. She seems so carefree, so happy and seeing her like this I realise that I’ve never really ‘seen’ her before. Not that she’d ever been miserable… but now she just seems to have this… spark.


Something tightens inside me. I want that spark, that indefinable… something desperately. With more strength than I thought possible I break through the plastic and lace my fingers with hers. Tell me, I want to say to her. Tell me what the secret is.


Our bodies crash together and her soft, warm flesh moulds to accommodate mine far more satisfying than impersonal plastic. But rather than letting me go, strong arms wind themselves around me, pressing us closer together. I shiver, but not with the cold. Indeed I’m so hot I feel like my insides are volcanic magma, bubbling, bubbling…


I feel something cold and slimy slap against my thigh. I look down but my eyes can’t fully process what I’m seeing. Slowly my eyes travel upwards from the splayed fin to where the iridescent scales merge with human flesh. Higher… Higher… She looks at me now with unadulterated hunger. Panic beats a frantic tattoo in my chest. I begin to struggle. Her glossy pink lips seize mine in a kiss that is part lust and all possession. I fight harder, jerking my legs caught in the steel vice of her tail. Eyes glittering she draws me deeper.








The next thing I know it’s morning and mum’s coming into the room with a cup of coffee. She looks at the bed. The cup drops to the floor and coffee splashes across the haphazard rainbow heap of discarded clothes. My eyes stare vacantly up at her from behind their plastic tomb. My naked corpse floats inside the waterbed like some twisted modern art instillation. Mum’s scream is loud enough to wake the dead…


Groggily my uncoordinated hand searches for the alarm clock, desperate to stop its incessant beeping. My heart slows to normal as the world around me swims into focus, everything looking as it should: Clothes in a heap, waterbed solid, not a body in sight. After my hurried shower, I stare into the mirror, apart from appearing perhaps a little paler than normal I don’t look any different. But inside… well that’s another story. Picking out an eye-catching scarlet ensemble that yesterday I never would have dared to wear for school, I dress, readying myself to face the sharks.        

Mermaid Music Video - Gutterfly by My beautiful Deadly Children

Mermaid Music Video - Gutterfly by My beautiful Deadly Children (2010)
Has a wonderful burlesque carnival mermaid:
Watch the whole video on youtube.

New Mermaid Graphic Novel Sailor Twain

New mermaid graphic novel  Sailor Twain looks really good!

Article about it here:
Sailor Twain